Wednesday, 25 June 2014

8 Ways to teach your kids English (without them knowing it!)

When I was teaching, the most common question parents asked me was, "What can I do to help my child improve in English comprehension and compositions?

"Read the more stories," I would reply, ignoring their doubtful looks. "At least 30 minutes every day!"

Perhaps they were expecting me to suggest buying more assessment books.

***

After homeschooling two preschoolers, I've become convinced that this is more true than I ever imagined. I have struggled to teach "good phrases" to primary school children, who memorised them and inserted them into their compositions.


But I never expected my 3-year-old son to spout phrases, like, "Look Mama, I can run like the wind!" or "Quick as a wink"! While playing with his sister, he told her that "out of the bushes, lumbered a bear." I've overheard my 5-year-old tell her brother (who was pretending to be a butterfly) to "spread his golden wings". At the beach, she said that a "gust of wind" blew sand onto her feet. She also complains that her brother "agitates" her!


I have never consciously taught them these phrases - they accidentally learnt them through the stories we read, our circle time songs, and the poems we recite.


It's painful to teach and watch children as they struggle to learn grammar rules. Think past participle, present perfect continuous tense, prepositions, countable nouns, uncountable nouns... it makes my hair stand just thinking about it! Wouldn't it be wonderful if children could just immerse themselves in high-quality language, absorb the language rules without realising it, and enjoy the entire process? 


Here's what English lessons at home look like: They don't exist.


Here's what we do instead:


1) Circle time


We recite poems and sing songs with high-quality, descriptive language and rich imagery, while doing the actions. Here's one:


Little dwarfs so short and strong, heavy-footed march along, 
credits
Every head is straight and proud, every step is firm and loud.
Pick and hammer each must hold deep in earth to mine the gold, 
Hack, hack, hack, all through the night, bringing up the crystals bright.  
When their hard day's work is done, home again they march as one.
Full sacks make a heavy load as they tramp along the road.


Benefits of doing circle time with high quality poems and songs:
  • Children learn beautiful and descriptive language.
  • Caters to auditory, visual and kinesthetic learners.
  • Learning is discovery-based, not by direct instruction. Children figure out the meanings of unfamiliar words by themselves (they remember stuff they figured out better than things that are explained to them) In the poem above, the children will figure out, without being told, that "tramp" means to walk with heavy steps - because they are doing exactly that as they sing the words!
  • It's a form of exercise: yoga and brain gym movements help to activate different brain functions.
  • Sensory integration (Proprioceptive, vestibular, tactile) needs are taken care of so they are more physically and emotionally balanced during the day.

2) Read stories with high quality language

We read picture books with descriptive and rich language.  No dumbed down readers, or what Charlotte Mason calls "twaddle". According to oxforddictionaries.com, twaddle is “Trivial or foolish speech or writing; nonsense:” Examples of twaddle are simplified/abridged literature, reading-made-easy books and TV/movie show-based books that use simplistic language and content, that leave no room for the child's imagination. Here's a twaddle-free book list.

People are surprised that I also read my children long stories that have difficult words and No Pictures! The point is for the children to visualise and create their own mental pictures and images, rather than become reliant on external stimuli to create. The stories are about 2-3 pages long, size 12 Times New Roman, full text. Yes, a 3-year-old can sit through a story that long, listening quietly. Why? Because his brain is actively engaged in creative work. (I forgot to mention that my kids don't watch TV. We chose not to have one.) 

We're using an Enki / Waldorf-inspired technique - we read without analysis or explanation. We repeat the same story for 3 days. Each day, the child gleans a little more understanding than the previous day. If the child asks the meaning of a word, or any question, we reply with, "Hmm, lets see..." and continue with the story. Usually, by the third reading, the child would have figured out the meaning by himself, using contextual clues - a skill that is necessary for the dreaded cloze passages and comprehensions he'll face in school. The advantage of letting the child figure it out for himself is that learning by discovery stays with the child longer than learning by direct instruction.


3) Read, read and read! 


Quality has to go with quantity. The more the better. In our house, story time happens at least 3-4 times a day:
  • when the children get too excited/hyperactive/cranky, stories help them settle down.
  • in the car, on the bus and train, or when waiting in line.
  • bedtime


4) Audio books

Sometimes we don't feel like reading. Sometimes we just need a break. 

Rather than rely on the TV, which puts the children in a stupor (observe the glazed look in their eyes), when children listen to audio books on a CD, they are still 'present', their minds actively engaged and creating the story images in their minds. 

When we're in the car, we play audio books. We love audio books. It gives us a break and keeps the kids quiet! And they learn how to structure stories and bring stories to life. 

Just be prepared for them to memorise and recite the entire story to you over and over again ad nauseam.


5) Tell your own stories

Sometimes, it's good to make up your own stories. It shows the children you can create your very own stories, as opposed to relying on external sources. If you really can't make up stories, you could share your life story, like how you met your spouse, or family histories. 

The other day, our dear friend Sally told the story of how her grandfather took a boat from Taiwan to Singapore to find work as a coolie. It had us spellbound, children and adults alike!

I also find it useful to share stories of my childhood failures/fears/difficulties/mistakes, and how I overcame them. Somehow it's comforting for children to know that the adults once struggled too, and managed to overcome the same challenges they're facing. This is especially helpful for children who are afraid of making mistakes or trying new things.



6) Discipline using stories

When a normally reasonable and cooperative child gets emotional to the point where no amount is reasoning works, I take a deep breath, go into my inner space to collect my thoughts and... I start telling a story.

Usually I have no idea where it's going. It usually stars a favourite animal, parallels the emotional turmoil the child is going through, and brings the main character to a peaceful resolution. More often than not, by the end of the story, the child usually finds some resolution too. 


It looks like Tan Ah Teck with his famous stories got it right... almost!


Susan Perrow has some lovely books with a huge library of healing stories for every crisis, from disobedience to separation anxiety, to sibling rivalry and dishonesty. Whenever we were facing a particular issue, I would read a relevant story to the children a few days in a row. Sometimes the offending behaviour disappeared, and sometimes it lessened slightly, but whatever the result, the stories lent courage and understanding to all of us in the family.

Healing Stories for Challenging Behaviour

Therapeutic Storytelling: 101 Healing Stories for Children



Healing Stories for Challenging Behaviour       Therapeutic Storytelling: 101 Healing Stories for Children





6) Let children SEE YOU reading and enjoying it.

Modelling and teaching by example is most underrated. A child picks up what you do, and not just what you say. It's very hard for a child to start the habit of reading more, when he sees you glued to your mobile device every available moment. 


Every afternoon, we try to fit in some quiet reading time together. It's the time I recharge myself and enjoy some peace and quiet!


7) Don't talk down to children

Don't be guilty of uttering twaddle! Children pick up a lot more than we think, and it is a great insult to their intelligence to dumb down our language when we speak to them. I have observed many adults do this. When speaking to a child, they switch to simplified singlish:


"Mummy where?" (Where is Mummy?)

"Bye bye, dog dog go home 'ready." (The dog is going home. Say goodbye!)
"I take Didi home, can?" (Can I bring Didi home?)
"Aiyoh, shame shame!" (Don't lift up your shirt!)
"Wah, who buy for you?" (Wow, who bought it for you?)

If you speak to children like this, please stop! A child knows the difference and appreciates being spoken to like a rational human being. 



8) Delay reading and writing for as long as you can

This is a pretty controversial one, and doesn't sit well with most kiasu Singaporeans. In a nutshell, the brain of a preschool child is wired to absorb language as a whole, ie. listening to and absorbing high quality language. It does not benefit his brain or language abilities if he starts to learn how to decode language (ie. how to read and write) at a very young age. There will be time enough for that when he is seven or eight. Research shows that there are advantages to delaying academics:

BBC News: Review backs later formal lessons

The Telegraph: Starting school at seven 'can boost pupils' reading skills'
Research paper: Early Childhood Education: What the Empirical Studies Show
Delayed Instruction for Homeschoolers
Delayed Academics: Key to Preventing Learning Problems

* * *


Recommendations


If you don't have the time to read to your children, I would strongly recommend audio books. You can get them as a set (book and CD), but just the audio CD will do too. Sometimes, we play the audio CD a few times, and a few days later, we leave the book on the table for them to discover. They get really excited when they discover that it is the very story they've been listening to and visualising!




Our favourite Audio Books (CD):

The-Gruffalo-and-Friends (younger children)
We're Going on a Bear Hunt (younger children)
Aesop's Fables, Volume One: Twenty Stories (younger children)
Aesop's Fables, Volume Two: 20 Stories (younger children)
Classic Fairy Stories
Winnie the Pooh: Dramatisation
The Three Billy Goats Gruff and Other Stories
Favourite Beatrix Potter Tales: Read by Stars of the Movie Miss Potter

Relaxing Audio Books (CD):
Tantrum Taming: Blow Away Your Angry Feelings

Indigo Dreams: 4 Children's Stories Designed to Decrease Stress and Anxiety While Increasing Self-Esteem and Self-Awareness

Our favourite books:
The Gingerbread Man
Handa's Surprise
Starbright: Meditations for Children
Little Soul and the Earth: A Children's Parable Adapted from Conversations with God


* Update (27 October 2014) *

Where to get Audio Books:

Some readers have asked me where to get audio books. Here's my list of tips to pick the best CDs at the lowest prices!

The National Library has a large variety of audio books. We usually get ours from the Bishan branch. For beginners / young children, I would recommend getting one with a multi-cast narration (so the different characters are voiced by different people) and with lots of music and sound effects. As they get older or become better listeners, a single narrator will do fine. We particularly like the audio books by BBC.  

If you want to buy a copy to keep, I would recommend Book Depository or Fishpond.

Tips:
  • Search Amazon Audio Books. 
  • Considerations:
    - Check out the reviews
    - Listen to sample clips (if any).
    - Decide if you want just the Audio CD, or the book as well (Mixed Media product)
    - I tend to prefer for those done in UK, or recorded by UK artists, but that's just me.
  • After deciding on the titles, go to Book Depository.

You can also sign up for a free 30-day trial of Audible, by Amazon.
Try Audible and Get Two Free Audiobooks


Thursday, 12 June 2014

Pink cucumbers, pink guava and pink juice - Who says we can't play with food?

We love red dragonfruit. The only problem is, it turns everything pink. EVERYTHING. Even the toilet bowl. (Ok, you didn't need to know that!)

The moment you peel it, the pink juice oozes out generously, so we put it to good use and dyed all our other food pink. Soon, we had lots of pink cucumbers and pink guava. We even added some dragonfruit cubes to our coconut water so we could pretend we were having some funky drink. (We normally don't drink sodas or any sweetened liquids!)

Which proves that kids should play with their food - if it makes them finish it faster!



Wednesday, 11 June 2014

DIY Toys: Marble Run

It's really satisfying to make toys and games out of stuff we were going to throw away. It was pretty simple and quick, and we started playing with it almost immediately. We made two holes at the top so two could play at the same time. It was originally intended for marbles, but we found that casuarina cones (picked up from Bishan Park) were lighter and slower, so we could actually watch them make their way down the marble run!


Materials needed:




  1. Cardboard box (Mine was from an iHerb delivery!) 
  2. Toilet roll 
  3. Glue 
  4. Scissors and penknife
  5. Paint
  6. Marbles or Casuarina cones 
Instructions:
  1. Cut the cover flaps off the box.
  2. Cut the empty toilet rolls in half and stick them to the inside of the box. 
  3. Cut holes at the top to drop marbles in.
  4. Paint everything!

Saturday, 31 May 2014

DIY Toys: Magnetic Fishing Rod

One of our favourite Waldorf-inspired toys to date. The concept is really simple: use a magnetic bait to attract magnetic fish!






Roy in particular enjoyed the woodwork. I think it made him feel like a man! The children really enjoy making their own toys. It makes them feel empowered and they realise that they can create anything they need or want out of everyday materials. Our kids don't ask us for things. They've started to make their own!

No ready-made, smooth-finished, brightly-coloured, battery-operated, plastic toys for us. When toys can speak, talk and move, there's nothing left for the child to imagine or create. Therein lies the beauty of natural toys. Our fishing rods double up as magic wands!

How to make a magnetic fishing rod

1. Go for a nature walk and pick some nice branches.
2. Scrape off the bark with a paint remover. Remember to scrape AWAY from the body.
3. Sandpaper the branch to smooth out any bumps.
4. Drill a tiny hole and insert a metal eye-hook. (optional - you could just tie the strong to the rod.)
5. Tie a piece of string to the eye hook and attach a magnet on the other end.
6. Make magnetic fish using felt, magnets and fabric glue, or twist pipe cleaners into fish shapes.
7. Go fishing!

Monday, 26 May 2014

Coconut Crush II: What we do when we don't feel like washing dishes

We all have bad days. Sometimes, from the minute we wake up, everything seems to go wrong. The kids are cranky, the adults are frazzled, the day is filled with spills, knocks, accidents and boo hoos, and by the afternoon, we're ready to call it a day, let alone think about preparing dinner and washing the dishes...

That's when we whip out my chopper and... whack our coconuts really hard.


Voila! Refreshing coconut water, and 8 disposable coconut bowls to use for dinner, minus the carbon footprint! In mummyspeak, that means a quick clean up, kids in bed earlier, and more time to relax with the husband.

* * *

Coconut Cracking for Dummies

If, like me, you don't have much arm power or aim, here's an easy way to crack a coconut. Rinse the coconut, place it in a plastic or metal bowl, whack the coconut hard using the BACK of a chopper. Thanks Felicia, for the tip!) The coconut will crack open and the coconut water will flow out into the metal bowl. You may need to pry it open a bit more. Pour the coconut water into a glass and enjoy your coconut water with a straw!


Related post:

Saturday, 24 May 2014

Coconut Crush I: 3-minute Desserts (Raw)

We've fallen in love with coconuts.

When we're feeling under the weather, coconut water rejuvenates us. The list of health benefits is endless (go google coconut water benefits). In a nutshell, it's full of electrolytes and nutrients and helps with everything from skin, digestion, hydration, blood pressure, weight loss to hangovers.  It works wonders for fevers too. When our three-year-old had a 39 degree celsius fever, he just drank water and coconut water all afternoon (and a few slices of apple when he felt hungry). By dinner time, he was down to 37 degrees celsius! He completely recovered within just 6 hours, but he refused to drink coconut water for the next few days!

"Coconut water is a universal donor and is identical to human blood plasma. This natural isotonic beverage has the same level of electrolytic balance that we have in our blood. During the Pacific War of 1941-45, coconut water was used to give emergency plasma transfusions to wounded soldiers. Coconut water was used as an IV drip in WWII. Coconut water has been used as an emergency short-term intravenous hydration fluid. The high level of sugar and other salts make it possible to be used in the bloodstream. This is why coconut water is now referred to as the “fluid of life." Conscious Coconuts

When we need some rich creamy dessert, we blend the white coconut flesh to make yummy desserts! Here are some tried and tested recipes - raw, vegan, (dairy-free, wheat-free) that the kids love! They basically taste like creamy chocolate and don't have a strong coconut taste. (I don't like dried coconut desserts.)

Why raw? The enzymes in food are destroyed at temperatures above 47 degrees celsius. Raw food contains a third more vitamins than cooked food. Read more at Raw Food Life.




1. Banana / Chocolate ice-cream (no milk, no chocolate!)
  • 2x fresh frozen coconut flesh (buy botak coconuts from NTUC/Giant, and scoop out the white flesh)
  • raw carob powder from Organic Paradise (for chocolate ice-cream)  / frozen bananas (banana ice-cream) 
  • 2 dates (pitted. I used organic Medjool dates)
  • 1/2 teaspoon of vanilla
Blend everything and serve immediately, or refreeze.

Here's the Original Banana ice-cream original recipe


2. Chocolate-flavoured mousse (no milk, no chocolate!)

(same recipe as above, but not frozen)

Blend everything and serve in pretty glass cups. Add raw cacao nibs as toppings (optional)


3. Truffles (no milk, no chocolate!)
  • 2x fresh frozen coconut flesh (Buy botak coconuts from NTUC/Giant, and scoop out the white flesh)
  • raw carob powder from Organic Paradise
  • Hemp seeds
  • 2 dates (pitted. I used organic Medjool dates)
  • 1/2 teaspoon of vanilla
Blend everything and shape into balls. Sprinkle carob powder over finished balls.

Here's the Original Chocolate truffles recipe


Related post:

Coconut Crush II: What we do when we don't feel like washing dishes


Thursday, 24 April 2014

Venus Drive: Outdoor Haven at 12 noon... or when it's Hazy!

2 stops from Thomson Plaza


This is where we hang out whenever:
  1. The dreaded HAZE is back and we want to be outdoors. The air there is MUCH FRESHER than any indoor place you can name... We have the thick canopy of trees to thank!
  2. It's 12 noon and the sun is scorching but we want a cool, shady nature walk, NOW!
  3. We have less than an hour to spare and we want a relaxing oasis in the middle of the day. Unlike MacRitchie Reservoir Park or Pierce Reservoir, the rainforest is 10 second walk from the carpark, and a few minutes away from the bus stop, so the little ones won't be tired out before we even get to the rainforest.
  4. We want to get up close and personal with squirrels, monkeys, dragonflies, pondskaters, monitor lizards, a little stream, unusual trees and plants, without having a boardwalk to separate us from them, or high visitor traffic to scare animals away.
This trail actually leads to the HSBC Tree Top Walk, but we haven't managed to make it that far with the two little ones yet. It's 2.5 km (a 45 mins - 1 hr walk for adults) from the carpark at Venus Drive. But it's worth going in for a short stroll and turning back before the little ones get tired. 

Official Website:


Opening Hours 

Venus Drive Rainforest Trail
All the time!

Tree Top Trail
Tue to Fri: 9am-5pm, 
Sat, Sun and Public Holidays: 8.30am-5pm.

Getting There:

Park at Venus Drive carpark. It's just further up from Sin Ming Ave, and near Singapore Island Country Club.

Buses: 132, 163, 165, 166, 167, 52, 980. 
Alight along Upper Thomson Road, opposite Flame Tree Park Condo.


Monday, 14 April 2014

Homeschool Skit: The Very Hungry Caterpillar



A lesson we all enjoyed. Thanks Sally!

(1) Story time:
The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle.

(2) Dramatisation. 
Parent narrated while the children role-played the different stages of a butterfly's life cycle. The movement and story helps children to internalise the details, especially for kinesthetic/visual/auditory learners.

(3) Sewing a caterpillar.
(i) Thread fluffy balls together with a needle and thread.
(ii) Stick on the eyes.

(4) Painting a butterfly.
(i) Fold paper in half and open it again,
(ii) Dollop a generous amount (for a 3D effect) of acrylic paint on 1 side of the paper,
(iii) press the 2 sides together to create a mirror image, (iv) open it up and let the paint dry
(v) cut out the butterfly,
(vii) stick on the antennae.


The children were so into the Caterpillar and Butterfly theme that when we got home, we made beeswax models of the butterfly's life cycle!


Wednesday, 9 April 2014

A 5-year-old prepares breakfast

It's a great feeling to be served breakfast 5 days in a row, by my helpful five-year-old.  Sliced fruits, beautifully arranged on a plate.


In the past, whenever I overslept, my two sweeties would bring out the fruits and set the table. And now, life just got better! Let's hope it lasts more than 5 days. 

Here's our favourite IKEA kitchen utensil - the apple slicer. It does a great job with apples and works on smaller guavas and nectarines too. 
IKEA Apple Slicer
A Servant's Heart

Sometimes, mums need to be pampered too! We used to call our daughter "princess" and son "prince", but we decided some time ago, that there would be no royalty in our house, and the most important thing to strive for was to have a heart of service, and not be a prince or princess. So whenever the kids put themselves before others, we would spend the next few days finding ways to have a servant's heart and serve each other. They would have to serve each other food, fetch things for each other, and give their sibling the nicer/bigger/yummier choices. It mades them happy to know that they were doing something kind, useful, and appreciated.  

Ever since they could walk, we would get them to serve birthday cake slices to everyone, before having a slice, even on their birthdays... no, especially on their birthdays! The two little ones are responsible for laying the cutlery for meals every day, and for clearing the table after dinner. It took months of training and sometimes our hearts would skip a beat as we watched them carry wobbly glass bowls and cups full of liquid to the kitchen. But at the end of it all, watching them clear the table and hearing them ask, "Mama, is there anything else you need me to do?" makes it worth every minor heart attack!

A few days ago, we had guests over at our house. The little girl stood by the kitchen door, looking at the guests and counting quietly. The next thing, she emerged from the kitchen with cups of water, one for each guest. Perhaps something had internalised and become ingrained after years of serving others. 

One of the problems with modern society is that there is often a lack of meaningful work for little children to do. I've seen so many little ones whose loving mothers and caregivers do everything for them, to the detriment of the child. I've taught seven-year-olds who needed to be told what to do, step-by-step, and who were at a total loss when instructions were not given. Most of them had doting, overprotective parents. At the other end of the spectrum, the children who could work smart and independently tended to have parents who were involved, yet allowed space (and risk!) for the children to do things on their own. 

It's true that it may be easier and faster to just do things for them and do the chores by yourself, but if you just invest some time to walk them through the process, you'll find in the long run that it's well worth the time spent!

Monday, 24 March 2014

Hemp Seeds


Hemp seeds and Chia seeds are our staples. They are rich in proteins and Omega 3s, and require zero preparation.

Chia seeds are tasteless, but Hemp seeds add a really nice slightly nutty taste to our meals, and they are really filling.

The best thing is, they don't need any preparation. We just pour a few spoons over our salads, or into our drinks, and we're done!

Because of these little seeds, it's been much easier to get the kids to eat their veggies raw. Why RAW? Raw food contains a lot more vitamins and minerals than cooked food. And most enzymes are destroyed at 60-70 degrees celsius. So with the help of seeds and salad dressing, we've managed to get the little ones to eat their lots of raw salads!

Hemp and Chia seed smoothies are nice too. I blend them with fruit (banana or strawberries) for a yummy smoothie!


Hemp Banana Smoothie (from iherb)
2 Tbsp Hempseeds
2 Tbsp Nutiva HempShake
1 banana
A dash of vanilla
1 cup water or almond milk
Blend the hemp seeds and 1-2 oz water into a thick cream. Add the remaining ingredients to the blender, mix well and enjoy.

Where to get them

You can order them from iherb. Shipping costs $4, and if you use my discount code, you'll get $10 off your first order, and I'll earn referral points too. Remember to key in NEF914 when you checkout to enjoy the discount.

Nutiva, Organic Shelled Hempseed

Nutiva, Organic Chia Seed



Friday, 21 March 2014

"Give that Skink a beer. No, give that Skink a Tiger."


He sat, motionless, staring at the can of beer. Should I? Or shouldn't I? Frozen in the same position for 15 minutes, the Common Sun Skink mulled over this difficult decision. 

As we sat down for a rest at the MacRitchie Reservoir boardwalk along the Prunus-Petai Trail, we joined the skink in its reverie, enjoying the stillness of the forest, punctuated by the shouts of canoeists having their training.

It was the second skink we saw in a week, but unlike the previous one that disappeared into the bushes when we appeared, this one gave us ample time to admire his sleek shiny body.

Also known as the Many-lined Sun Skink, it can be identified by the five or seven dark lines on its ventral surface parallel to its body line. Older, larger specimens are commonly found lacking the thick tail.  
Skinks are characterised by their smooth, scaled skins, and small legs. Mainly terrestrial and diurnal, they are to be found basking in the sun along forest tracks or on tree trunks.
Source: EcologyAsia
Many of our nature walks end up being litter-picking walks. From empty drink cans, snack wrappers and plastic bags, one wonders why anyone who took the trouble to walk several kilometres through a beautiful rainforest would then desecrate it with litter.

Another time, we came across bits of a torn styrofoam cup strewn all over the forest. We puzzled over which insane person might do such a thing and realized it was probably a monkey that was trying to lick up the last few drops of someone's Kopi-C.

Years ago, when we were scuba diving at Phi Phi island, Thailand, we sat on the dive boat, all excited and ready to jump into the water. Our American dive master finished up his beer and cigarette and tossed them into the sea - the very sea we were about to jump into. So much for pristine waters!

If you do enjoy nature, please help to pick up the rubbish you see along the way. It's all about loving Mother Earth and your fellow human beings, who will then get to enjoy a more beautiful nature walk.




Sunday, 16 March 2014

Toilet Roll Flower Decorations


When my husband first discovered my secret stash of finished toilet rolls, he was very sure that I was mad. I have since reassured him that I am not alone in this strange hobby, and that I have discovered equally mad mothers who collect strange things like foam mesh fruit sleeves, cornflakes boxes and huge cardboard boxes! You never know when you might need them. ;)

The toilet roll flower decorations were easy to make. We  flattened the toilet rolls, cut them into strips, glued the bottoms, and stuck them onto cardboard sheets.

For the pistil, or the centre of the flower, we used a pretty bead or a rolled up strip of paper.

When we have more time, we'll attempt something more adventurous, like this: http://365days2simplicity.blogspot.sg/2011/09/wall-art-wednesday.html

Friday, 14 March 2014

A Monitor Lizard Went Swiming One Day






This is why I love the outdoors. The second swimming monitor lizard in a month!

This monitor lizard was more than a metre long, and was cooling off in the Botanic Gardens pond at about 3pm in the afternoon. The monitor lizard ignored the koi and had a leisurely swim around the pool a few times before making its way up the rocks and disappearing into the bushes.

We saw another monitor lizard in the water at MacRitchie reservoir at 12 noon, a few weeks back. It was foraging for food near the reservoir bank during low tide.

Tuesday, 11 March 2014

Are you praising your child the right way?

"Wow! You're fantastic!"

"You're so clever!"

"You're a good artist!"

"You're smarter than other children your age!"


It may sound like you're boosting the child's self esteem and the child is beaming from ear to ear. But you might just be doing more harm than good.


When we were growing up, praises were few and far between. A 95/100 score might elicit questions like, "What happened to the 5 marks?" Perhaps to compensate for that lack, coupled with the modern parenting "self-esteem" buzz, we heap praise lavishly for the smallest achievement. 

Our little boy frequently gets comments from complete strangers, about his big eyes or how handsome he is. We didn't think much of it, until he started to ask a few months ago, "Am I handsome?" Alarm bells rang, and we informed him that he was asking the wrong question, and that the right question was, "Am I kind?" Thankfully, he has started to focus on being kind and now looks out for ways to do that.

Here are seven tips on how to praise a child constructively:


#1 : Catch them doing the right thing

Praise your children for things you want them to focus on. If you want them to focus on their looks, comment frequently on how handsome or pretty they are.

If you want your child to be gentle, catch him being gentle (to a person, animal or even an object) and praise him for it.

If a child is not used to sharing her toys, praise and thank her for the tiny bit that she grudgingly shares. When she feels good about sharing, she'll do it again.

  "I saw you helping the little boy. That was very kind of you."

  "Thank you for picking up the litter on the ground. It's nice that you're caring for Mother Earth."


#2 : Give Descriptive Praise. Don't exaggerate.

Describe what they did and state the positive quality they displayed.

You're so amazing!

You're such a good boy!

You held the door open for everyone. That's very CONSIDERATE of you.

You were very KIND just now. You wanted to watch TV but you turned it off because your sister was scared.

When a child presents you with a drawing, there's no need to gush about how wonderful it is. Be sincere and describe what you see. 

Wow! What a beautiful picture! You're an artist!
 
Wow, you drew a house, with windows and doors, and you even drew doorknobs and curtains. That's really detailed.

It's a really colourful picture. I like the different colours you used for the flowers.

You were really careful and you coloured everything inside the lines!

If you REALLY can't make out what it is,  describe, describe, describe.


That's a beautiful drawing! ...What is it?

 
I see a big blue circle, a long red line here, and lots of black dots. Tell me about your picture.

Here's an excerpt from  "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk" by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish. The comics depict the comments and reactions in an easily understood way!








"How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk" by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish.
The book is available from Book Depository.com. It's the cheapest place that I've come across for buying books online, (compared to Amazon and Fishpond) and shipping is FREE! It takes about 2 weeks for the book to reach Singapore.


 

#3 : Praise a child for effort, not intelligence.


Wow! You are so clever!

Research shows that children praised for being clever avoid challenges in order to preserve their "clever" reputation. They were more interested in comparing marks than in learning. Furthermore, if these children failed at the next task, they would give up more easily, and attribute their failure to evidence of stupidity.

  You did well at that. You must have put in a lot of effort!


On the other hand, children praised for putting in effort were more motivated to attempt challenging tasks that they would learn from. They were also more interested in learning new strategies than in comparing marks.

Source: Parenting Science
"Children whose parents had congratulated them for their effort were more open to taking on challenges, better at problem solving and more likely to believe they could improve themselves by working hard."
Source: The Telegraph



#4 : Praise the child for things they have control over

Wow, you're so clever! You succeeded at the first try!

You're the prettiest girl in the world!


If you praise children for PHYSICAL ATTRIBUTES like being clever, they may build their self-worth on their cleverness. If the day comes that they do something that is NOT clever, (and they will!) or, when they meet a whole bunch of people who are cleverer than they are, their self-worth will plummet - there is nothing they can do about their IQ.

The same goes for constantly telling a child how handsome or pretty they are. I'm all for loving your face and body, but if a child's self-worth is built on her being pretty, she's going to have a lot of self-esteem problems when she encounters prettier girls.

But if you praise a child for GOOD QUALITIES, like working hard, for really putting effort into their work, for being observant, attentive, and having self discipline, they will always have the security of knowing that the power to build themselves up is in their own hands.


You're very observant! You looked carefully and saw that....."

You listened carefully and thought about what it meant."

You really put a lot of effort into building that. I saw you working on it all by yourself for an hour!"

You were really determined! You didn't give up even though it was so hard."




#5 : Praise the action, not the person

  You are a great singer!

  You sang that song really sweetly and with lots of feeling!

Labelling a child, even if it's a positive label, like being a good drawer, good singer, etc, could cause a child to feel that there is a reputation to uphold.

In one experiment, generic praise (“You are a good drawer”) caused children to be more upset about subsequent mistakes, and be reluctant to draw.

In contrast, specific praise (“You did a good job drawing”) caused children to show an interest in drawing.

Source: Parenting Science



#6 : Avoid Social Comparisons

Compare the child's work with her previous work, and not to others.

You did that faster than other children your age! You're better than the other 5-year-olds!
  
You're getting faster at this! Yesterday, you took 3 minutes, and today, you finished it in 2 minutes! You've improved!
"Praise involving social comparison was in fact worse than no praise at all. It seemed to sap their motivation, encouraging them to choose easy tasks in the future, maybe for fear that they would lose that top spot.

But this only applied if they were uncertain about how well they’d done. When they’d already been given their scores the girls and boys and behaved differently. The boys benefitted from the social comparisons, yet the girls didn’t. They seemed to react badly to being told they were doing better than others. They seemed to take from it that what matters is beating other people, rather than getting any satisfaction from the task itself, and so their motivation was reduced."

Source: BBC


#7 : Be Sincere. Don't Exaggerate.

A child can sniff out insincerity a mile away.
Child: Mummy, look at this picture!

Mummy: Wow! It's beautiful! It's wonderful! What is it?

Child: (hurt) Don't you know? It's you! 

Sound familiar? Applying the technique of Descriptive Praise...

Child: Mummy, look at this picture!

Mummy: Wow! You used so many beautiful colours! I can see some black lines, and a bit of yellow over here. Tell me about your picture.

Child: (pointing) This is your hair, and this is your dress!

* * * * * 

So the next time you want to praise your child, think about the message you are sending across and word your praise carefully!

By the way, all these techniques work on spouses too! :)

Wednesday, 26 February 2014

A house the Big Bad Wolf would approve of

I am blessed to be in a home school co-op with creative and talented mothers. Two weeks ago, our craft session was painting a cardboard house, a marvellous idea by Kathy! I'd never have thought of this, let alone attempt this on my own.

The session was wet, messy, there were multicoloured hands, faces, and even FEET(!), but we all had great fun!
 
Another thing I like about this co-op is that they make me feel normal. I'm not the only strange creature who collects cardboard boxes, tissue boxes and finished toilet rolls, JUST IN CASE we might need them for an unknown project in the future! (Note to husband: See, I'm normal!)


Photos courtesy of Wan Ying and Sally

Tuesday, 25 February 2014

Yoga for kids and Sensory Intergration

Our family does yoga every day. If you visit us before breakfast, you'll find our family sprawled out on the floor in various contorted positions. We've found that it helps both the children and adults alike to feel more balanced and happy and ready to face a new day!

The little boy loves to do the dinosaur and bridge poses, and the little girl likes to do the flower and swan. Sometimes, they even have short-distance telephone conersations with each other!




Sensory Integration


Sensory integration is the ability to take in, organize, and process the information (smells, sights, sounds, touch, taste) and stimuli around us.

Many behavioural problems (hyperactivity, attention deficit, withdrawal, irritability, etc) are related to the child's ability to integrate the stimuli around them.

There are a few ways we can integrate, nourish and engage our physical bodies and base senses:

  1. Proprioceptive - large movements, physically challenging activities, hopping, pushing, pulling
  2. Vestibular - balance / spinning
  3. Tactile - boundaries and connections
  4. Crossing midlines - moving the body from left to right, up and down, front and back
In our modern world, we don't get to stimulate these senses much. We don't have to haul water, work on the  fields, or chop wood, so we have to pay some attention to engaging our bodies. More so for children, who still are learning what their bodies can or can't do. Yoga helps children nourish their bodies and integrate their senses.

In a nutshell, we found that our children listen better, behave better, are happier, less reactive, and less irritable after they have done yoga! The same goes for adults!





Other Benefits of Yoga for children

The benefits for children include greater flexibility, stamina, strength, coordination, self-confidence, focus and concentration.

Our little girl has been doing yoga for over a year now. When we first started, she couldn't do the wheel pose. So we spent some time working on:
  1. Physical and Mental Preparation - "Be in position,  calm yourself, breathe slowly."
  2. Focus - "Close your eyes and visualise yourself in that position."
  3. Concentration - "Breathe deeply, count to three, and then push!"
She can now hold the wheel pose and count to 40!


Yoga and Ballet

Some yoga positions are similar to ballet exercises. I did ballet for 5 years when I was 7 years old, and when I took up yoga at the age of 20, I managed to pick up yoga quite easily because some of the poses were the same, like the wheel, the shoulder stand, the plough, and the swan.


Yoga and Pregancy

During my first pregnancy, I did pre-natal yoga once a week. It was basically Yoga Lite, modified to accommodate a growing bump. For the second pregnancy, I did half an hour of yoga every morning. The Shoulder Stand really helped my swollen feet. But I couldn't do the Wheel pose, though! Needless to say, my second pregnancy was much easier, I was physically fitter and more agile, and I frightened quite a lot of people by running after my active toddler, carrying her and squatting down to pick things up from the floor - even up to the day I was due!

The ABCs of Yoga for Kids: 56 Learning Cards
By Teresa Anne Power

Our children love these. They look at the pictures on each card and imitate the poses on their own! There's even a poem behind each card that describes how to get the pose right. It also helps if the parents have some experience in yoga so they can help the children to focus their attention on the right areas.
 
The yoga cards are available from:

Monday, 17 February 2014

Gruffalo-themed birthday dinner

The little girl's birthday dinner was great fun, thanks to a brilliant idea from The princess and the rock!

The Gruffalo is one of their favourite stories. They've played and replayed the audio CD so many times that even their dad has memorised the story, complete with all the music and sound effects!

We planned the menu with the kids and printed, cut out, and stuck the menu labels together (another craft session!)



The same food seemed to taste better once it was identified as part of the Gruffalo, and the children wiped out the food.

The funniest thing was to hear them clamouring for more 'poisonous warts'!


Printables:

Thursday, 13 February 2014

The Animal Resort

The Animal Resort is a kampong-style farm with rabbits, guinea pigs, a horse, fish, beautiful grey crowned cranes, a cassowary, white and blue peacocks, chickens, and a fierce Marabou Stork. The geese and ducks are free-range and they will eat out of your hand if you let them. 
 


You have to purchase food to feed the animals. Unless you like animal saliva all over you, it's best not to have your hands full so you can designate one hand to feed animals and the other to do important things like scratch your nose!
The little shop also sells snacks for humans, like biscuits and bottled drinks, if you get peckish. 

When it was time to go....

Me: Come on... We need to go and get lunch!

Little boy: (dismayed) No! I don't want to!

Me: Why not? Aren't you hungry?

Little boy: (sadly) I want to eat nice food... not these animal biscuits!


What to bring:

  1. Wet wipes - for cleaning your hands after feeding the animals. The taps were out of order the last time we visited so we rinsed our hands with the hose in the toilet.
  2. Tissues - the toilets are very basic and toilet roll wasn't available.
  3. Insect repellant - for those with delicious blood. I'm quite yummy (to mosquitoes) so I wear jeans and covered shoes to protect my legs!

Official website:

The Animal Resort

Getting there:

81 Seletar West Farmway 5
Singapore 798061
Tel: (+65) 6338 7665

Opening hours: 10am - 6pm

Admission is free.

The Animal Resort is not accessible by public transport so you will probably have to drive or take a cab there.

From TPE
•Exit by Jalan Kayu slip road and travel for 0.75 km   (passing by shop houses and a petrol kiosk)

•Turn right to Seletar West Farmway 4

•Travel for 0.31 km till the side road and turn right to   Seletar West Farmway 6