Ixora Craft
The kids surprised me with this one. This is what happened when we put 3 children together for 8 hours outdoors without planning any activities: They invented their own toys and handicrafts.
I spent an entire Sunday with a dear friend. Both our husbands were away, so we parked ourselves and our children at Labrador Park, with no plans at all, but to enjoy the sea breeze. Besides some kick scooters and rollerblades, we had brought nothing for the children to play with. When they were tired of running about, they went off to find something else to do. Then finding them too quiet, we went to check on them, and discovered that they had devised their own craft session using natural materials. The little boy created a magic wand using a small fallen branch, leaves and flowers.
The girls invented their own Ixora craft:
- Collect big leaves and fallen ixora flowers.
- Pierce holes using a thin twig.
- Insert the ixora stems into the holes.
Less is More
Here was an instance where we discovered that "less is more", and sometimes necessity (or scarcity!) is the mother of invention.
We often provide copious resources and materials for our children in the name of education and brain development, but perhaps this Stimulation Surplus may actually create a Creativity Deficit.
Children Need "Me Time" too!
It brought me back to the days past when I was a latch-key kid. With hours of free time alone at home, I designed my own board games, card games, wrote poems, taught myself HTML and even designed a fan website for Tom Cruise that received several hundred hits a day. Yes, as a teenager, I was highly indignant that Tom Cruise was so under-represented in the early days of the internet, so I spent many afternoons creating a comprehensive fan site! Anyway, there's a kind of satisfaction that only creating can give, which is one good thing that came out of the many lonely hours. But I am by no means recommending subjecting a child to hours of loneliness... or Tom Cruise(!).
The middle way, for me, would be to provide a few hours of unsupervised 'alone time' for each child. Every afternoon, we have an hour or so of "quiet time", with each child in their own designated cosy corner. It's a much-needed break for me, and some of their most creative inventions happen then.
During this period, they are free to do anything they like, as long as it is generally permitted and legal!
The children enjoy this time because:
- They can do craft or play without interruptions or disturbances from their siblings or parents.
- They have the space do what they enjoy.
- They learn to respect each others' need for space and privacy.
The parents love "Me Time for Children" because:
1) We get some much needed peace and quiet!
2) The children learn to self-sooth and solve their own problems. They can choose to nap, eat, read, have a long bath, or do craft, or anything that makes them feel better. This takes some pressure off us!
Getting Started
- I started doing this when the children were about 2 or 3 years old, but you could probably start earlier.
- I told them that this was the only time they could do whatever they liked without their sibling disturbing them. (This was a draw for my daughter who was tired of her then toddler-brother messing up her work!)
- I began with 5 minutes, and slowly worked my way up to 1 hour. When I am especially stretched, I push it to 2 hours, but that usually ends up with the children feeling unsettled, so I try not to do that too often.
Rules
- The physical boundaries are clearly defined, eg. a room or corner each. If you don't have the luxury of space, you can move the furniture around to create a little cosy corner. Most little children love the safe and cosy feeling of an enclosed space.
- During the quiet time, the children are not supposed to talk to each other unless absolutely necessary (like borrowing stationery or toys that they really need)
- Children can do any activity, as long as it is safe, kind and generally allowed by the parents.
- To signal the end of the Quiet time, I sing the "clean up song" followed by the "Tea break song".
- We then transition to a yummy tea break!
Tips
To get the children to be emotionally willing to spend some time alone, they need to first be emotionally fed and secure. Their love tanks need to be full enough to give them mileage to stay alone. Fill their tanks by spending quality time with them first, in a way that feeds them, perhaps snuggling up for a story, doing craft, and followed by a vigorous or outdoor activity to tire them out. By then, they should be ready for some quiet time!
What it looks like in our home
After our reading time or craft activity, or when the kids have had too much of each other, I start to sing the "Quiet Time Song" while hugging each of them tightly and leading them to their corner.
The daughter like to have a long bath, and then do some handicraft or drawing.
The son will usually disappear into a make believe world and create impressive structures using chairs, boxes, string and cloth! Or he might create some toys for himself .
