The Laid-back Parent

Happiness is oversleeping till 10am and waking up to see this:

The little girl had set the breakfast table and even prepared our favourite drinks! It seems that the less parents do, the more space children have to blossom and find themselves.

We love our children and it is so easy to fall into the trap of over-parenting and depriving our children of truly owning their experiences and being independent.

Here's the book that made me lazy:

The Idle Parent

The Idle Parent: Why Laid-Back Parents Raise Happier and Healthier Kids, by Tom Hodgkinson

Many parents today spend a whole lot of time worrying and wondering- frantically "helicoptering" over their children with the hope that they might somehow keep (or make?) them flawless. But where is this approach to childcare getting us? According to Hodgkinson, in our quest to give our kids everything, we fail to give them the two things they need most: the space and time to grow up self-reliant, confident, happy, and free. In this smart and hilarious book, Hodgkinson urges parents to stop worrying and instead start nurturing the natural instincts toward creativity and independence that are found in every child. And the great irony: in doing so, we will find ourselves becoming happier and better parents.

Available from the Book Depository.com
Books are cheaper than most other online stores and shipping is free!

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It's been a few years since I spotted that book on the library shelf, but it did shape some of our family practices.

Here are some helpful tips we learnt over the years:

1. As far as possible, try to be unhelpful.

2. When the children struggle, guide their hands and go through the motions with them. It may be faster to do it yourself, but if you take the time to train them, it will pay off in the long run.

3. If putting on shoes and socks takes forever, allocate 10 minutes for them to do it by themselves.

4. Place cups, bowls, fruits, water, and daily necessities within easy reach of small people.

5. Little people can soap and shower themselves.

6. Little hands can scoop out their own dinners and serve others.

7. Children can participate in household chores like clearing dinner dishes, laundry and cleaning the house, and not play while the adults slave away!

Parenthood will become much easier and more enjoyable. And maybe the prospect of having 12 children (like in the old days) will fill us with delight!